I’m no love expert and I certainly don’t know what the “perfect” relationship is but what I do know is that relationships can be the best thing you invest your time and effort into. Don’t get me wrong, there will certainly be times when you want to squeeze your partner’s head until it pops but my god, it’s all worth it.
Without delving too deep into my past, I think it’s important to talk about past relationships and how they can impact your future love life. All of my previous relationships have taught me so many things about myself, how to treat other people and most importantly, what I deserve in a relationship. I’ve got no animosity with ex’s which is such a good feeling, as I’m not really one that likes to hold that kind of hatred towards someone I once had feelings for.
The breakup with my first ever love was really hard for me to get over and after almost 2 years of pure heart break, I became a self-proclaimed “Ice Queen” that had no feelings. I was too scared to open up to anyone, as being that vulnerable and giving someone the power to break my heart all over again was just too scary. Over the course of two years, I tried dating, didn’t work. I got into relationships quickly and fell out of them even quicker. The thing is, the minute I stopped trying to validate myself by being someone’s girlfriend, I found my friendship with Kenny.
The first day I met Kenny (my boyfriend of almost two years) will always remain one of my favourite days – partly because that was the first time I ever saw him so, he looked FIT. Kenny & I studied Computing at University and he walked into my Project Management lecture – I turned to my friend and said “I’m going to marry that boy one day“, (and some other stuff that I’m not going to write) but little did I know, we’d end up buying a flat in Cheltenham together!!!
Kenny is 100% my best friend. I have never in my life felt a love like this, I don’t even love Beyoncé this much and for you all that know me well, you know that’s a lot. We share secrets, we gossip, we’ll bitch, we’ll laugh, we’ll argue, we’ll support each other and we always make sure we’re both happy because, that’s the thing about the both of us, we genuinely don’t care what we’re doing, how much money we have or what we look like, as long as we are both happy with each other and within ourselves then that’s all we care about and to me, I couldn’t wish for a better companionship than that. I am truly lucky.
The thing is, when you’re so close with someone like that, you’re going to have your arguments. Nowadays, we rarely argue and if we do, it’s because he’s wrong and I’m right (I’m joking, he’s the stubborn one) but when we were getting to know each others annoying habits and how it was to live with each other, there would be crazy arguments. I’m pretty sure we argued over brown rice once… but these things happen! I always used to assume that arguments meant that we weren’t right for each other but I’m pretty sure if you don’t argue with your partner, there’s got to be something wrong.
Every time Ken and I have argued, we grow from it. We would always shout at each other until we were on the verge of killing each other but nowadays, like mature adults, we will actually discuss the issue at hand and deal with it. Of course, some days I’m an irrational monster or he’s 10 times annoying than usual, but they’re the exception.
When you invest your time in someone and you commit to them, you also build a connection with their family and friends. Now, I’m really lucky that Ken’s family are so lovely. They have treated me so kind and have fully supported me since the day I met them. As Ken comes from a family full of women, I was so nervous to meet them, I was so sure they were going to hate me but from what I’ve heard, most people think crap like this when they’re about to meet the relatives. Luckily, I see Ken’s sisters as my sisters and his mum like my own mum. We’ve been on holiday together, we’ve been drunk together, we’ve spent two Christmas’ together and I’ve become apart of this crazy yet amazing family that I could never imagine not having around. (By the way, don’t even get me started on their dogs, Elvis & Bert – definitely my favourite)
Do you know how I know Kenny is my soulmate? Because I never believed in soulmates before I met him. If he’s hungry, I’m shoving food in his mouth, if he’s struggling with his work, I’m right behind him giving him advice and if he needs cheering up, you better believe I’m going to be making him nachos, whacking on Brooklyn Nine-Nine and giving him a head massage until he’s happy again.
Love isn’t just about having someone to cuddle when you’re feeling down, buying you nice things for your birthday and telling you you’re pretty all the time. Yes, of course that’s all a bonus but love is also, holding their head out of a bucket when they’re being sick from drinking a bottle of gin. Love is holding my hand and feeding me chocolate when I’m crying in pain from my ovaries imploding. Love is supporting each other no matter what, never judging each other and always knowing you’ve got them to fall back on if everything goes tits up.
For now, Ken and I are excited about moving into our flat together within the next few months. Within the next 5 years, we are most certainly getting a dog… or 10 and in the next 20 years, I’d like to be still annoying the heck out of Kenny, every single day.
I can only wish that I spend the rest of my life with him but for now, concentrating on tomorrow and making sure we’re both living our happiest life is my top priority.